So Very Grateful!

Tonight I am moved to tears by gratitude.  I have spent several of the last 24 hours converting some of my old choir tapes to mp3.  So far I have been working on the tapes from when I was in the Ogden Institute Chorale.  When I first went to college at Weber State, I got involved in the Institute.  Being on the Seminary Council in High School had been a great experience for me and I wanted to continue to be involved in a similar type of program.  I first heard the Chorale sing in a devotional and was unbelievably impressed by the quality of the choir.  I wanted to be a part of something like that, but had never auditioned for a choir.  I was very unsure of myself and was afraid of rejection.

Fast forward to the fall of my second year at Weber.  Having been encouraged by a couple of people I looked up to, I decided to audition for Chorale.  I was nervous but had found a song I would feel comfortable singing.  The night before my audition, I came down with a bad cold.  The morning of my audition I felt miserable.  Runny nose, scratchy throat, cough.  I went to the audition and was filling out the form.  I was so nervous.  One of the Chorale officers started talking to me and when I told her that I had just come down with a cold and didn't think I was going to do very well, she told me that Brother Castleton (the Director) made the decision based on the audition, but also on what the Spirit told him.  I put my fate in the Lord's hands, with faith that if I was meant to be in Chorale it would happen.

I made it!  I was so excited.  I enjoyed my first year in Chorale.  It was a great learning experience and my singing ability had greatly improved, but since a lot of people in the choir had been in it previously they had already formed groups of friends.  I didn't have any close friends in Chorale, and being a very shy person, didn't really feel like a part of the group.  I had decided that I was not going to audition the next fall. 

Halfway through the summer, I received a call from Evan Thomas who would be the Chorale President the next year.  He asked if I would be the Librarian (in charge of all the sheet music) for the next year.  I thanked him and told him that I didn't plan to be in Chorale again.  He said that he had felt impressed to call me to that position and asked me to reconsider.  I thought about it and prayed about it and decided to accept the call.  That was one of the best decisions I ever made.  My second year in Chorale was an incredible experience, both spiritually and temporally.  I was surrounded by talented, spiritual, fun people.  I made it my goal to make everyone feel included since I had felt so out of place the year before.  I stepped out of my comfort zone and forged friendships that I will treasure forever.

What I had planned to be only one year in Chorale turned into five.  They were five of the best years of my life and I am so grateful that the Lord guided me, through the encouragement of others, to be a part of something so amazing.   

I am so humbled and grateful to have been a part of a choir that was so talented.  The music is beyond beautiful, and I would swear that at times a heavenly choir was singing with us.  As I have been listening to my Chorale music during the last 24 hours, I have again been touched by the Spirit of the music, and have remembered experiences and people who touched my life.  To all my Chorale friends:  Thank you!  I'll love you forever!!!

My Favorite Title

I have several titles, but my favorite is Aunt Misty.  There is nothing better than being an aunt.  Seriously.  Since my roommates have been out of the country for Spring Break, I decided that last weekend would be the perfect time to have a little one on one time with my niece Kambrie.  We had so much fun!  On Friday night, Mandy & Erik brought Kambrie (and the other kids) down and we went to Brick Oven for dinner.  It was delicious, and got quite exciting when Breklin got pepper in her eyes.  I swear the people in the bathroom thought I was a monster while I was trying to flush her eyes out and she was sobbing.  After dinner, Kambrie and I went grocery shopping.  (It's tradition to let the kiddos choose their favorite foods during an Aunt Misty weekend.)

Saturday morning after we ate breakfast we were snuggled up in our jammies watching cartoons when my phone rang.  It was a work emergency.  The CPR Instructor was locked out of the office and had people waiting for the class.  So Kambrie and I threw on some clothes speedy-quick and went to let them in.  Since the class was starting 30 minutes late Kambrie and I helped set up for the class, during which time I locked my keys in the office.  Just as I was calling to have someone let me into my office, the cleaners showed up and mercifully unlocked my door.  After running a few errands, we braved the INSANE crowd at Trafalga for some video games.  It was literally packed!  But Kambrie had a great time so it was worth it.  We ended the day by eating a tasty "picnic" dinner in front of a movie.

Sunday we got ready and headed to church.  Kambrie was such an angel the whole weekend, but she was especially good at church.  Kambrie didn't want to brave Primary by herself so she came to Gospel Doctrine with me.  At one point we were asked to read Matthew 3:17 which reads "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."  I read it to Kambrie and then asked her who said that.  She gave me and "are you kidding me" look and said "You just did."  I busted up laughing right there in the middle of class.  It was a fabulous weekend and I'm sad it ended so soon.  I think we might try it again this weekend with both Breklin and Kambrie.  :)

In The Dark Of The Night

Confession time (again):  I have anxiety issues.  Sometimes I get really anxious over insignificant things.  Occasionally I get anxious and don't even know why.  That happened to me a few minutes ago.  When I get anxious at night I have a hard time sleeping, usually have crazy dreams, wake up with my jaw hurting (when I'm stressed out I clench my teeth), and wake up feeling like I never slept.  I don't know why problems/stressors seem so much larger at night than during the day.  So while I'm trying to calm down enough to go to bed and hopefully sleep here are a few random facts for you:

*  The word "psyche" means the human soul, spirit or mind.  It has also been used as a female given name.  Dear Mom and Dad:  Thanks for not naming me Psyche!
*  When you yawn it is because there is too much carbon dioxide  in your lungs and not enough oxygen.  The only link scientists can see between being tired and yawning, is that when you are tired your breathing is more shallow, causing your lungs to lack the oxygen they need. 
*I just remembered my dream from last night.  It was weird.  It involved sitting in a class with a person who had no personal space boundaries.  At least he was attractive.  But it was still weird.
*I'll award ten points to anyone who knows where tonight's title comes from. 

Well, I'm feeling much more relaxed now, so I'm off to bed.  Sweet dreams, all.  And by all I mean the one person who might still read my blog.  :)

What Happened Today: A List

• Snow plow scraping nothing off my street at 6:45am.  On a Saturday.  When I could have slept for another hour.  And they didn't plow my road yesterday when we actually had some snow.  Odd.
• Co-taught a CPR class.  Craziness happened.  The best part of co-teaching?  Having someone to giggle with when the craziness was over.
• A slice of Cinnamon Burst Bread from Great Harvest.  For free...with my $10 purchase.  :)
• Checkout boy got really excited when he saw my last name.  Apparently he shares it.  He was slightly less excited when he found out my most recent generations hail from Idaho.  His are from California.  
• Best roommate ever brought home dinner from Chick-fil-A.  Chicken nuggets = Yummy.  Lemonade = My favorite!!!
• Discovered that Blogger FINALLY has more than five fonts.  I may or may not have gone a little font crazy here.  
• Bedtime.  

All in all, not a bad Saturday.  Here's hoping tomorrow is even better!  For me and for you.  

You Know What Makes Me Happy?

Organization. I think it might be part of that whole perfectionist thing.

Being Single

I am a single, thirty-something LDS woman. Most people who are not in the same situation don't understand what it's like, so I thought I'd explain what it's like for me. While my life isn't exactly how I want it to be (whose is?), I am content with my life. I do want to get married to an amazing, faithful man and have a family, but it's not something I focus on all day every day. Some days I think about it a lot. Some days I don't think about it at all. Some days I want to stay single. You see, there are so many worse things than being single: Abuse, a cheating spouse or one that's struggling with addiction, death of a spouse or child, the difficulties faced in raising strong, independent, compassionate children in an increasingly nefarious world. Watching how these things have affected the lives of those around me has helped me to see that my life is pretty great. What it comes down to is that sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side, and sometimes the other pasture looks flooded and covered in mud.

I don't want you to think I have a negative view of marriage, I just see the realities of it...good and bad. After seeing all I've seen, I still have hope for a great future that includes a happy family. I am excited to see what new adventures come my way. Meanwhile, I try to focus on the positive. I am independent. I can handle being alone. I am blessed beyond belief. I have a job I love (most of the time), some of the best friends a girl ever had, fantastic roommates, a supportive family, and I have been blessed with talents that make my life more fun. Those are the things that help me be content with my life.

Being single: It is totally manageable.

As a side note: If you know any single, fabulous, worthy men I am open to changing that status. :)

A Funny Story...Or There Went My Self-Esteem

Back in September a co-worker of mine was leaving the company so my team decided to take her out for lunch to say goodbye. Being the nice people we are, we let her choose where she would like to go and she chose Cafe Rio.

**Side Note: I prefer Costa Vida, but I like Cafe Rio just fine. This will come up again.**

When we walked into Cafe Rio there was a huge table full of HOT Firemen/EMTs. I immediately started telling myself that I looked attractive and that they would all be clamoring for my phone number by the end of lunch despite the fact that I had slept a little too long that morning and had pulled my wet hair back into a ponytail. (Not only is that not my most spectacular look, but my hair has just enough natural curl to make it air-dry really weird which it had. But at least I had on makeup!)

Trying to appear confident and beautiful, I approached the counter and placed my order with the nice, helpful boy. Then I moved down the line a little and while I was waiting for my turn to tell the girl what I wanted with my burrito I started chatting with my friend Jolee. Soon I heard the lady behind the counter say "Excuse me, Sir. What did you have?" I looked up at her to see that she was looking expectantly at me. I looked around. There were no men in the line at all. My brain was so busy trying to figure out what was happening that I forgot what I had ordered and stammered "Oh....ummm...I had a burrito." After I had spoken, I could see that the lady felt a little embarrassed. But only after I had spoken!!! I turned to Jolee and asked if the lady had really just called me Sir. Jolee kind of giggled and answered that yes, she had in fact called me Sir.

I didn't want the poor employee to feel bad, so I whipped around the other way as I started laughing uncontrollably not only at the humor of the moment, but also out of complete mortification. My good luck continued as my 180 degree spin had me facing the afore mentioned table of attractive men. Now, if you know me at all, you know that every time I laugh (and this is not an exaggeration) I cry. The harder I laugh, the more tears fall. Since I was laughing so hard tears were literally streaming down my face.

I was just starting to get myself back under control when my friend Kristin leaned toward me and said "You're the [darnedest] man I ever saw!" Well that was the end of what little dignity I had mustered. I continued laughing/crying throughout the process of finishing my order and paying for my food. I'm pretty sure that 75% of the conversation at lunch was dedicated to making jokes about my looking so manly, etc.

That lunch was good for A LOT of laughs, but it was also pretty rough on the old self-image. Now when I wear my hair back, I try to incorporate flowers, or fancy twists, etc. to make it as obvious as possible that I am a female. And I've also pledged my undying devotion to Costa Vida. Where they've always noticed that I am a woman.